There's a fine, fine line....

I saw Avenue Q last night with my friend "E".  It was the second time we had seen it, and we've it together both times.  While we had a great time last night - it wasn't the evening I had planned.

I bought the tickets for a guy who was going to come for the weekend. It was the show he wanted to see and it's been planned for six weeks.  He's a great guy - and I really want to care about him.  As Boyfriend Material.  And the truth is - I do care.

He wanders in and out of my life about every six years, and I have *always* had a thing for him.  The timing just always seemed to be off.  On paper, it all works.  We know alot of the same people, share a lot of the same history, have a great time together, laugh and talk when we are together, like the same football team, families live 20 minutes apart, and physically we have Great Chemistry.  But the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing - it alwasy loses something in implementation. 

You guessed it.  He cancelled two days before the weekend, with a list of excuses.  I was devastated.

And while all three of his reasons were valid, he certainly knew about them before he finally let me know he wasn't coming. 

To be fair - we haven't had the "next level" talk.  You know the one, where you move from casually seeing each other to something a little more serious.  I had hoped to do that this weekend, because it isn't really a phone conversation...best in person. 

I didn't want to be unreasonable. I hadn't told him I wanted something more serious, we never talked about it - maybe he thought I was happy with "playing it by ear".  Hardly fair to be angry, hurt or disappointed when you haven't had that conversation - right?

But I am anyway.  "If he isn't calling you, he's just not that into you."  And he doesn't call very often.  So he must not be.  And I am crushed. 

Aren't I worth being someone's priority? Maybe not their top priority, but important enough to call once in a while? Or to say, "Hey - hold off on spending all that money on tickets two weeks before Christmas...I may need to reschedule."  While I'd still be disappointed, at least that's thoughtful. Respectful.

 "There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time."

Sing it Kate Monster....